Achieving Happiness Column for 8-15-04 By Tom Muha, Ph.D. Testing your positive psychology abilities Would you like to be able to do something that could extend your life by seven and one-half years? Scientists at Yale University have discovered that having more positive thoughts as you age can add that much time to your life. Test your current capacity be the master of your mind when confronting the inevitable problems of life. Give yourself ten percentage points for each of these statements that are true for you: 1. I can maintain my confidence when facing my fears by reminding myself that I am good enough to overcome life’s obstacles. 2. Using win-win thinking enables me to have lasting love because I’m focused on insuring that my partner and I both continually get our needs met. 3. I use my relationship failures to teach me how to be more forgiving of the past and appreciative in the present. 4. I take responsibility for my personal failures and have become stronger because my mistakes taught me something about how to ultimately prevail. 5. I’ve learned that spending money to acquire possessions does not bring me contentment, and instead have found true sources for achieving happiness. 6. I love feeling that I’m in the flow of life because I’m often able lose myself in activities that I find meaningful, rewarding, and fulfilling. 7. My friends provide a major source of fun, and I’ve learned how to turn to them for support when confronted with challenges. 8. I’ve overcome pain resulting from illness, injury, and personal problems by tapping into all four storehouses of energy - physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. 9. Having lost someone or something I’ve loved has taught me to appreciate who and what I have for as long as I have it. 10. I have seen evil, and my spirit has become stronger as I’ve learned to renew my faith that there is also an abundance of good in the world. People who answer true to all ten questions have the skills they need to live longer and happier lives because they know how to overcome setbacks. In fact, the Yale study found that developing an optimistic outlook had a more powerful effect on one’s life span than exercising regularly, maintaining a healthy weight, having low cholesterol and blood pressure, or abstaining from smoking. But don’t delude yourself into believing that you don’t have to take care of your body. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle will greatly increase your chances of having both a high quality of life and longevity. Start thinking of your mind and body as essentially equal. Consider laughter and love as important to your health as exercise and eating right. Learning how to create happiness doesn’t change the reality that negative events will also occur. But these ten skills will help you to choose how you allow those events to matter in your life. When matters seem to be at their worst, you can make your mind matter more than the external elements that are threatening to overwhelm you. There may be no better example of this than Abraham Lincoln. Although he became one of the most revered men to ever hold the office of President, he had  to endure a mighty struggle before he achieved greatness. Lincoln had several devastating illnesses afflict his family, two terrible failures in his business endeavors and seven defeats while running for various political offices, all of which actually helped him to become the strong and wise leader our country so desperately needed during the civil war. In fact, researchers now understand that the ability to create meaning and values can only come with a combination of age and experience in having learned how to overcome suffering. Happy people never want to forget their trials and tribulations. They come to view their traumas as having been a necessary stimulus for their personal and interpersonal growth. Healthy people know that they are stronger, both mentally and physically, because of how they chose to handle the challenges they had to face. Abraham Lincoln never gave up or into the unhappiness that surely accompanied his setbacks. He summed up his philosophy of life when he wrote, “Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” You too can become stronger if you learn how to handle your suffering. Review those questions that you answered false and make a commitment to learn how you can make them true in your life.   Tom Muha is a psychologist in Annapolis. He welcomes your comments and questions. To contact him call (443) 454-7274 or email him at tom@achievinghappiness.com.