Positive Psychology Column for 7-13-03 By Tom Muha, Ph.D. Appreciating the Good Parts of Life One of the best parts of my three-year sailing sabbatical was learning to appreciate the beauty of nature.  I found that it soothed my soul.  So I wasn’t surprised when I read that the new science of success and satisfaction has found that using appreciation provides unparalleled power to support physical and emotional renewal. I’ve found that there is a splendid approach for helping to restore positive energy by enhancing the character strength of appreciation.  The Appreciation Audit is a wonderful way to bring healing energy to your body, mind and spirit.  It shields you from stress, since your brain cannot process appreciation and fear reactions at the same time.  It works well for people who live very stressful lives, which unfortunately includes almost all of us. Appreciation of natural beauty has become my primary method for connecting to the energy of the Higher Power. I think the Higher Power may live in an island group known as the Exumas.  The beauty of these relatively uninhabited islands is something to behold.  The water is so crystal clear you can watch a starfish crawl across the bottom 30 feet down. But since I’ve become a dirt dweller once again I’ve found that I can go to a local park to do my morning mediation and make the spiritual connection just as well. I suspect that whenever someone appreciates a thing of beauty they tap into some universal life force. Being in a beautiful place just naturally sets off my feelings of appreciation. However, it’s not always possible to be in that type of setting when you want to shift out of feeling stressed. Fortunately, you can do an Appreciation Audit in any quiet space in which you can take three to five minutes to think about some aspect of life for which you have a deep feeling of appreciation.  Many people will do this during their commute.  It works wonders to intersperse some appreciation into your life three different times during the day. The essence of the process is simply focusing your mind on something you appreciate while blocking out all other thoughts.  When the negative thoughts pop up, tell you, “Not now.  I’ll deal with those problems later.” And refocus your mind back onto the positive images that make you feel good. You can choose anything to focus upon.  It may be the savory sensation of a piece of chocolate melting in your mouth, or the love you have for your family.  It may be the memory of being in a peaceful place that made you feel  incredibly alive. Another method for focusing on positives is to construct your own Top 3 lists.  Think of whom you would want to include in your list of favorite people to be around, or your top 3 favorite pieces of music, or the 3 reasons that you love your spouse, or 3 things you dream of doing before you die. While you are concentrating on what you appreciate, allow the calm feeling that will come over your mind to drain down into your heart.  Notice how your heartbeat can slow down and develop an easy rhythm. Some people will have difficulty doing this exercise because they have lost touch with what’s good in their lives.  Because we live in a society that is fear-based, we can become accustomed to focusing on what is wrong in the world or what we fear may go wrong next. When we’re not very happy we tend to ask, “What’s wrong?” or “Why me?” Many people focus their minds on trying to think their negative feelings into submission.  But dwelling on negatives only drives up our distress level causing us to become anxious or angry. To find the right answers for achieving happiness you need to ask the right questions.  If you are struggling to think of past pleasures, then focus on your future: * What will make me happy today?  * What do I need to have in my life to be happy in the long run?  * What could I do to give my live more meaning? * What is the best thing that could happen in my life? You can control your own thoughts.  When stress causes you to have automatic negative reactions, you have a choice to make.  You can dwell on what has gone wrong or you can appreciate what has gone right.  You can worry about what will happen in the future or you can soothe yourself by seeing the positive possibilities in your life.   Tom Muha is a psychologist in Annapolis. He welcomes your comments and questions. To contact him call (443) 454-7274 or email him at tom@achievinghappiness.com.