Positive Psychology Column for 6-1-03 By Tom Muha, Ph.D. MISERABLE AT WORK? How’s your job?  For many people going to work means putting themselves in an unhappy environment. A recent survey found that 42 percent of workers in America reported that they had been subjected to someone yelling at them or other forms of verbal abuse within their workplace.  Nearly 30 percent of those surveyed admitted that they had yelled at a co-worker themselves. There are two causes of conflicts on the job.  According to a survey of employees, the primary source of problems at work is inept criticism by a manager.  When a boss uses an emotional tone that conveys a message of disgust or contempt, it is perceived as a painful attack by someone whose opinion is important. The other contributing cause of conflict comes as a result of the employee becoming flooded with emotion.  Left unchecked, their fight-flight-freeze reaction takes over when they receive negative feedback from a supervisor.  While experiencing this flood of emotions, the person cannot hear what is being said without distorting the message, nor can they respond rationally.  Their thinking becomes focused on how to attack back or on how to escape from the situation. This type of conflict causes both sides to lose their energy for doing their work.  The stress hormones released during disturbing encounters continue to swirl through the body for hours afterward.  Continual conflict leads to burn out.  It is the number one reason why people leave their jobs.  The emotional toll becomes too high for people to stay in such a toxic work environment. There are other alternatives for how groups of people can relate to one another successfully.  Specifically, using the three character strengths that are the basis of creating justice in relationships provides the best alternative for achieving happiness in the workplace. The first of these character strengths is teamwork.  Being a team player means that you always do your share.  In fact, you are dedicated to doing whatever is necessary to insure the success of the group. In order to be a loyal team member, you have to place a high value on the group’s goals, even when they at odds with your own.  This means that you must maintain respect for those who are in a position of authority.  Respect is not mindless obedience.  It is giving your input and then being committed to carrying out whatever decision the leader may make. The second character strength that allows you to excel as a member of a group is fairness.  The essential element here is a willingness to give everyone a chance to produce good results.  The key to being a fair person is  recognizing your personal feelings about people, and making a conscious effort to not let them bias your decisions.  In a workgroup setting, making choices to work effectively with those people who can best accomplish the task at hand needs to be more important than favoring those whom you like the best. The third character strength that has enormous influence on generating positive outcomes for a group of people working together is leadership.  The skills involved in leadership include being good at getting people to work well together, as well as an ability to organize the actions necessary to accomplish the group’s goals. How a leader manages people by and large determines the emotional climate of the workplace.  When employees feel off-balance and performance is poor, the leader has failed to read and empathize with the emotions of the group.  When people perceive that management does not care about their needs they develop a level of distress that becomes the focus of the team, replacing their attention to the leader’s message and to their mission.  Effective leaders attend to people’s feelings first and work to keep the emotions of the group positive.  Positive emotion is the glue that binds a team together and keeps individuals committed to the organization.  Because emotions are contagious, leaders want their followers to resonate with their enthusiastic energy as much as possible.  When difficulties do arise, excellent leaders shift to a serious mood that reflects that of their team.  They share whatever the feelings of the group:  frustration, apprehension, sadness, etc.  Only after they have empathized with those feelings do they begin to share their own message of optimism - the problem is temporary and there are specific steps that can be taken to solve it. By hitting just the right notes to resonate with their group, and then sharing their own values, great leaders leave the team feeling uplifted and inspired even in a difficult time.   Tom Muha is a psychologist in Annapolis. He welcomes your comments and questions. To contact him call (443) 454-7274 or email him at tom@achievinghappiness.com.