Positive Psychology Column for 4-20-03 By Tom Muha, Ph.D. Are There Problems Even in Paradise? We’ve all heard that we should use the power of positive thinking.  But how exactly are we supposed to do that when we’re running like crazy to keep up in the rat race? That’s the problem with being in the rat race - win or lose, you’re still a rat. I got tired of feeling like a rat in a maze following pathways that didn’t lead to anyplace that made me very happy.  So I took a three year sailing sabbatical to figure out just what would make me happy. Of course, the first thing that I learned was that there are unhappy times even when you’re sailing in paradise. Admittedly there were more good times than difficult ones while I was cruising.  But the bad times were challenging because they often occurred hundreds of miles from the U.S. mainland - far from the help of the Coast Guard or anyone else. One of the most important (and hardest) things for me to learn was how to think positively when I was out on my boat in the middle of nowhere with a cold rain pouring down while I was trying to fix a diesel engine that had stopped running. When I was tired, scared and alone on an ocean that was blasting me with wind and waves, it was hard to hold onto positive thoughts.  My mind wanted to race to the worst case outcome of what would happen if I couldn’t fix the problem, which only fueled my fear level. A terrible thing happens when you put yourself into a situation where you have taken your life into your own hands - there’s no one else to blame. In the beginning I tried to blame the #%&!! engine.  But cursing at inanimate objects, it turns out, doesn’t work any better than blaming other people. Well maybe it is a little better - inanimate objects don’t yell back. Obviously, I made it through those situations.  Later on I had the chance to talk about these kind of problems with more experienced cruisers while sitting in a beach bar under the coconut palms with a beer in my hand and sand between my toes.  (I told you there were good times, too.) I ask one old hand who’d been cruising since he’d retired 20 years earlier how he handled being scared during those kind of life and death situations.  “Well the first thing I do,” he told me, “is go down below and have a beer.  The boat can handle the problem better than a frightened captain.” I’m not sure if that was really what he did, but I got the message: slow down, walk away from the problem, and do something to relax.  As I reflected on that tactic it made perfect sense.  When my mind was gripped by fear, I realized, I couldn’t access the logical, problem-solving part of my brain. Then I began to wonder, as I was walking along a beautiful stretch of beach, what skills I needed to learn in order to be able to do that.  I often found that opening my mind up to advice from the higher power during these moments of contemplation produced outstanding insights. I also discovered that God has a sense of humor in his working with me.  The message that came to me was that whether I thought I could solve a problem or whether I thought I’d fail, I’d be right. As I walked along I became acutely aware that I was safe and sound and enjoying the incredible beauty of the world.  I just needed to remember during times of trouble to have faith that I’d make it through to be able to enjoy the good times again.  With that optimism in my head, my heart was filled with hope.  As I applied my learning to other similar situations that arose later on, I discovered how wonderfully it worked to engage my brain by believing I could figure out how to fix the problem and get on to a better place.         It was particularly helpful to remind myself that problems are a part of life, even in paradise, and to tell myself that this was a temporary condition that would soon pass.  In fact, I came to realize that the only difference between good times and bad times is time.  After all, if it weren’t for those bad times I wouldn’t have such a good time telling those terrific stories to my friends at happy hour.   Tom Muha is a psychologist in Annapolis. He welcomes your comments and questions. To contact him call (443) 454-7274 or email him at tom@achievinghappiness.com.