Achieving Happiness Column for 12-19-04 By Tom Muha, Ph.D. FINDING THE MERRY IN CHRISTMAS ‘Tis the season to be jolly, but happy and holidays don’t necessarily go together for everyone during this time of year. As if time and money weren’t scarce enough, the extra demands of Christmas can push people to their limits. It’s even worse if you’re already experiencing problems that surpass the normal pressures of our fast-paced existence. Then you’re particularly susceptible to feeling down when it seems everyone else is full of Christmas cheer.  Many years ago there was someone else who was also struggling at this time of the year. His story is an inspiration to all of us about how to handle the tough times. In the fall of 1843, a young writer living in London was down on his luck. After early success with his first publications, his writings were no longer selling well. The holidays were approaching, and this Englishman was becoming increasingly frozen with fear as his financial situation deteriorated and the pressure from his publisher to produce intensified. But he couldn’t write a word. How in the world, he kept asking himself, was he going to be able to provide for his pregnant wife, much less afford any Christmas presents? He ruminated on the prospect of losing his loving family and their comfortable home. As his debts mounted, the young writer became overwhelmed by anxiety. He got to the point that he couldn’t sleep at night, so he took to roaming the streets of London. While on his late night walks, he saw young children scurrying along in the shadows. As he observed them, he realized that they going to and from the places that they worked - factories, bakeries, and establishments catering to the well to do. He was reminded of his own childhood and how he’d hated growing up in poverty. He’d sworn that he’d never live like that again. But now his worst fears seem to coming true. He too might end up in debtors’ prison like his father had before him. His anxiety worsened as he imagined that the child he and his wife had on the way might end up in similar circumstances to what he’d endured. The more he dwelled on the doomsday scenario of his family being destitute, the more miserable he became. One night the young Englishman came face to face with one of these children and the conversation that ensued began to break his preoccupation with his own problems. He became acutely aware of the vital role these street urchins played as a source of support for their families, many of whom were homeless or living in squalor. His curiosity led him to talking to more children. He was horrified by the inhumane conditions in which the children were forced to work in order to eke out a meager existence. He became outraged that those who had so much were so greedy and selfish that they could exploit these children without giving it a second thought. Gradually the young writer found himself thinking more about the plight of the children than his own troubles. A passion to make a difference in the lives of these children began to build in his heart. Out of his own suffering, he had unexpectedly found a purpose for his life. He began to think of the possibilities for using his writing skills to change how society was treating these children. As his vision of a better world for them emerged in his mind, his feelings of helplessness and hopelessness were displaced by optimistic emotions. With a fire stirring in his soul, the Englishman returned to writing free of the discouragement and doubt that had plagued him. Having a purpose gave him a zest for life again. His enthusiasm and energy for writing were propelled by his desire to create a compelling story that would touch as many people as possible. Suddenly, he started to appreciate the love and support of his family. Rather than taking his own servants for granted, he became grateful to them for their efforts in tending to his family’s needs. The impassioned voice of this young writer who advocated for children’s rights can still be heard today, more than 160 years after Charles Dickens penned “A Christmas Carol.” But it’s Dickens’ own story that can help many people as they search for meaning in their lives. If you’re struggling, give yourself a Christmas present. Focus on finding the inspiration, purpose and passion that are waiting for you in the midst of your problems.    Tom Muha is a psychologist in Annapolis. He welcomes your comments and questions. To contact him call (443) 454-7274 or email him at tom@achievinghappiness.com.